I was talking to a friend about this season in my life and she told me I was “brave”. I was already feeling pretty brave and courageous, but her words were confirmation. As I looked to define the word brave, I came to understand that the words brave and courage are synonymous.
When you hear the word courage, what comes to mind? I think of boldness, fearlessness and bravery; someone who stepped out of their comfort zone and went after their dream, an ideal, or a goal.
I made a Facebook post last year after my son (who is a Leo – the Lion – the epitome of courage) decided to start using the potty. The post reads “Austin woke up one day and decided he was gonna consistently use the potty. No accidents in over a week. Take a lesson from my soon-to-be 3year old. Wake up and DECIDE! What are you gonna wake up and decide to do consistently? There’s a blessing on the other side of your decision to be consistent”
The conversation with my friend and that Facebook post came to my attention within the same time period, and I was encouraged to write this blog. I am not the only woman who is brave and courageous; all of us are, and hopefully this blog will inspire you to find your courage.
She woke up and decided that today was the day she chooses herself.
She found her courage to find a therapist and began unpacking and understanding her life and who she was truly meant to be. She is on the road to self-discovery. The decision to go to therapy is a bold one. Not many people openly talk about therapy. It has been sorta taboo in the black community. That initial call is difficult. And sometimes finding the right therapist is hard because you don’t always “click” with the first therapist you visit. There can be a lot of trial and error in the process of finding the right one and it can get discouraging, but she kept trying until she found HER therapist… this is courage.
She experienced loss – be it loss of self, loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship/friendship, or loss of the ideal life she once imagined. She found herself in a very dark place. You know… the place where depression lives, the place where you make decisions out of character, the place where you don’t even recognize yourself… yeah, THAT place. BUT she pulled herself out! She found her courage! She is bold, she is brave and she should be proud of herself.
She found her courage to intentionally BREAK generational dysfunction and cycles. This work required a lot of self-reflection and self-correction. And how many of you know it’s HARD to face yourself; that shadow self – that self that no one knows but YOU; the darkest parts of yourself that need to be brought to light and healed; those unconscious parts that you don’t understand or know where they came from – yes, those parts. Did you know they came from your generational lineage? And until someone decides to intentionally face it and break it, it will continue to be passed down to future generations. Being intentional about breaking generational cycles/dysfunction takes courage!
She found her courage to start that business, to pursue that dream, to take steps in accomplishing that goal! There have been so many creative ideas and visions in her heart. She didn’t know where to begin. She was initially afraid to take the leap because there were so many uncertainties that came along with it. But instead of dwelling on all the unknowns, she decided that she would jump out there and trust God. This is courage.
She found her courage to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She got tired of starting and stopping; losing weight and gaining it back; feeling tired, heavy, fatigued, etc. She was tired of her inconsistency. So she decided she would intentionally seek out and incorporate healthy habits and find movements that she actually enjoyed. She began to stick with a lifestyle that was sustainable and she felt great. Consistency is courage.
She found her courage to leave the relationship that was no longer serving her highest good. She realized that she deserved better. Not just a better partner, but a better self. She understands that she cannot be the best person to anyone else if she is not completely and fully loving herself. And a complete and fully loved woman walks in a divine understanding of who she is and doesn’t accept anything less than what she deserves. This is courage.
She found her courage to implement boundaries. She began saying “no” and allowing that “no” to be a complete sentence. She is understanding and accepting herself more. She’s embracing all her uniqueness and the quirky things that make her her. She’s learned to follow her intuition/spirit/inner guidance and no longer seeks to justify or question it. She found the courage to get to know herself, honor herself and trust herself. She now understands that her relationship with herself is most important and she makes sure to prioritize this relationship.
She found her courage to overcome and conquer so much more. She is you. She is me. She is us.
On a personal note:
I found my courage to put ME first. I am in a season of separation, a season of healing, and season of learning and UNlearning. This season is teaching me so much about myself and I absolutely love it. I am becoming OK with being unsure of every detail of my future. I have let go and surrendered and I am being intentional about the WORK that I am doing for myself, with myself and by myself. I am healing things I didn’t even realize I needed to heal, until now.
And to me, healing is unapologetic, shameless, and oftentimes messy. The circumstances and situations that bring you to your healing journey are painful, ugly and some stuff we don’t publicly discuss (and that’s ok). I will not apologize, rationalize or try to explain what is seen, heard, or interpreted as some witness MY journey. I can only hope you are encouraged and inspired by it.
Healing is also beautiful, bold, courageous, and authentic. I am evolving and I am excited about it!
I want to take you back to the textbook definition I shared in the beginning – courage is the ability to control fear and to be willing to deal with something that is dangerous, difficult, or unpleasant. That ability is inside of you! Tap into it and be willing to DEAL and HEAL. Whether you found yourself in one of the scenarios I mentioned above or some place different, I want to encourage you to find the courage to be and do ALL that you were put on this earth to BE and DO. Do it for the betterment of yourself and for future generations.
I welcome you on this healing journey and encourage you to seek therapy because it will assist you and give you the tools you need to find YOUR COURAGE.
As always, thanks for reading.
Doing all things in “Honesty, Love, and Transparency”